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I think I'm better off without
Sep. 21st, 2016 12:23 pmI've spent two hours working tickets whose existence proves the automation that is meant to replace me doesn't work or, even better, doesn't yet actually exist.
Yup, All Your Phones Are Belong to Us will go far with this automate everything strategy.
Yup, All Your Phones Are Belong to Us will go far with this automate everything strategy.
so that happened
Aug. 10th, 2016 11:29 amIt looks as if some member of management in this business unit is going out of their way to make sure I can't get a job within the organization as a whole.
Last year's midyear rating: Fully Meets
Last year's end of year rating: Does not meet
This year's midyear rating: Does not meet, though my business ops rating came up to "meets some."
The reason? Disciplinary action held over from 2015. Disciplinary action that was actionable at midyear 2015 when I got a fully meets, but was not acted upon until end of year when they found out there was going to be a surplus.
Long story short: there was nothing wrong with me at end of year 2015 that wasn't wrong at midyear. The only change was that I moved out of one chain of command into another.
Lesson learned: you must be ready, will and able to work for <i>anyone</i>, irrespective of what you think of them.
Last year's midyear rating: Fully Meets
Last year's end of year rating: Does not meet
This year's midyear rating: Does not meet, though my business ops rating came up to "meets some."
The reason? Disciplinary action held over from 2015. Disciplinary action that was actionable at midyear 2015 when I got a fully meets, but was not acted upon until end of year when they found out there was going to be a surplus.
Long story short: there was nothing wrong with me at end of year 2015 that wasn't wrong at midyear. The only change was that I moved out of one chain of command into another.
Lesson learned: you must be ready, will and able to work for <i>anyone</i>, irrespective of what you think of them.
Frustrating: three tickets in a row about a "known issue" I've never heard about.
Enraging: checking with the subject matter expert and being told to hand off all of them to that guy no one likes who's working on...that known issue the SMEs forgot to tell us about.
Enraging: checking with the subject matter expert and being told to hand off all of them to that guy no one likes who's working on...that known issue the SMEs forgot to tell us about.
I want to close just one ticket with "you are drunk and naked on the beach during Spring Break in low coverage with a two year old phone competing for bandwidth with everyone else. No, you can't post pictures right now. You're welcome."
1: Does "spectrum carve" actually mean "remove all radios?"
2: If I put the same amount of effort into investigating this ticket that you did, I'd be in hibernation.
3: Just give it to me straight. The site is on its side with its paws waving in the air and you just don't want to tell us?
4. Customer is sitting there with a functioning phone. You add a billing feature. The customer is now holding a brick. What is it you think my network did?
2: If I put the same amount of effort into investigating this ticket that you did, I'd be in hibernation.
3: Just give it to me straight. The site is on its side with its paws waving in the air and you just don't want to tell us?
4. Customer is sitting there with a functioning phone. You add a billing feature. The customer is now holding a brick. What is it you think my network did?
My very long day at work
Nov. 25th, 2015 02:16 pmHave watched the CA:CW trailer far too many times. Send fixit fic, pls.
Hurt my ankle falling off the stairs last weekend and aggravated it tramping around the woods for intermediate search & rescue training. WHY DON'T I JUST WALK DOWN TO THE CVS FOR PAINKILLERS, EH?
...and pick up my favorite overpriced Latin American cuisine on the way back...
Hurt my ankle falling off the stairs last weekend and aggravated it tramping around the woods for intermediate search & rescue training. WHY DON'T I JUST WALK DOWN TO THE CVS FOR PAINKILLERS, EH?
...and pick up my favorite overpriced Latin American cuisine on the way back...
Good news/Bad news
Sep. 17th, 2015 11:56 amGood news: being enrolled in a Udacity nanodegree program to learn Python demonstrated the kind of drive and commitment to the company's vision that might very well have save my job in the last surplus.
Bad news: there were, like, three other things I could have been studying that do not actually make me lose the will to live.
Bad news: there were, like, three other things I could have been studying that do not actually make me lose the will to live.
I don't hold the customer facing organization in complete contempt. I said that today and got an "oh you so do" look from a co-worker.
No, because if I held the customer facing organization in complete contempt, I'd be calling on every single ticket to see if the customer's issue in any way resembles what's in the ticket. Customers who have better things to do than talk to me? You're most welcome.
No, because if I held the customer facing organization in complete contempt, I'd be calling on every single ticket to see if the customer's issue in any way resembles what's in the ticket. Customers who have better things to do than talk to me? You're most welcome.
One of those days
Aug. 11th, 2015 03:37 pmI wish all of my feedback on ticket were allowed to be:
"Sir or ma'am, I see by the distribution of your call records that you are somewhere other than where you normally use your phone and very likely to be on vacation. Why are you worried about indoor coverage? Put on some sunscreen and go enjoy yourself. Tell everyone there was no coverage where you were. It's what I do at DragonCon. Love, Tech Support"
"Sir or ma'am, I see by the distribution of your call records that you are somewhere other than where you normally use your phone and very likely to be on vacation. Why are you worried about indoor coverage? Put on some sunscreen and go enjoy yourself. Tell everyone there was no coverage where you were. It's what I do at DragonCon. Love, Tech Support"
It's not even lunchtime yet
Jun. 9th, 2015 01:04 pm1. The end of the world novel I'm reading got to the end of the world, and Neal Stephenson is excessively effective at describing it.
2. Our regular trainer at work for 4G in Plain English is out today and the guy who stood in had maybe a millisecond of notice so, yeah. That was two hours none of us will ever get back.
3. It's time to enter our midyear accomplishments on our performance appraisals and I'm stuck between. "Still not on a perfomance improvement plan" and "no interdepartmental flame wars can conclusively be traced to justalurkr," both of which sound better than "trained the people who are most likely to take over this department's fuction."
2. Our regular trainer at work for 4G in Plain English is out today and the guy who stood in had maybe a millisecond of notice so, yeah. That was two hours none of us will ever get back.
3. It's time to enter our midyear accomplishments on our performance appraisals and I'm stuck between. "Still not on a perfomance improvement plan" and "no interdepartmental flame wars can conclusively be traced to justalurkr," both of which sound better than "trained the people who are most likely to take over this department's fuction."
I am old again
Jun. 1st, 2015 02:02 pmThere's a daily huddle at work where they make announcements and take questions.
Today's Baby Manager in Charge: (announces changes to parameters for care dispatching network tickets)
Me: So, care no longer has to eliminate the handset.
Today's Baby Manager in Charge: (looks so betrayed)
My Baby Manager: (bites lip really hard to avoid cracking up)
Everyone Else: OMG THEY DON'T HAVE TO....
(chaos, disorder, confusion)
Me: (spends the rest of the huddle imagining what would have become of me in the 90s if I'd tried even half the sh!t care does today to get out of troubleshooting, because my work is done here.)
Me, later: Does it count if I had really really good intentions of keeping my mouth shut?
My Baby Manager: Nah, you're good. (still not cracking up, bless'im.)
Today's Baby Manager in Charge: (announces changes to parameters for care dispatching network tickets)
Me: So, care no longer has to eliminate the handset.
Today's Baby Manager in Charge: (looks so betrayed)
My Baby Manager: (bites lip really hard to avoid cracking up)
Everyone Else: OMG THEY DON'T HAVE TO....
(chaos, disorder, confusion)
Me: (spends the rest of the huddle imagining what would have become of me in the 90s if I'd tried even half the sh!t care does today to get out of troubleshooting, because my work is done here.)
Me, later: Does it count if I had really really good intentions of keeping my mouth shut?
My Baby Manager: Nah, you're good. (still not cracking up, bless'im.)
You're in a supervisory position
Apr. 14th, 2015 10:27 amHave you ever hired anyone? No.
Have you ever fired anyone? No.
Have you even ever done a performance evaluation? No?
Then you are a baby manager. There's no shame in it. Make it your own.
edited to add: I either want rum in my diet Coke or another Marine for my next baby manager because this Army shit is getting reeeeally old. Who knew a Marine could be intrinsically more flexible than an Army guy?
Have you ever fired anyone? No.
Have you even ever done a performance evaluation? No?
Then you are a baby manager. There's no shame in it. Make it your own.
edited to add: I either want rum in my diet Coke or another Marine for my next baby manager because this Army shit is getting reeeeally old. Who knew a Marine could be intrinsically more flexible than an Army guy?
My choices:
1. Honest
2. Brutally Honest
3. Leave Bodies on the Floor Honest
4. I've been here 23 years and ran out of f#cks to give about a decade ago honest
I went with #1, I blush to disclose.
Responses had I chosen otherwise:
2. You guys need to loosen up about telling customers things they don't want to hear.
3. That guy in charge? Can't take a piss without taking a poll and disregarding the results.
4. Why are you still wasting my time with these surveys when you're gonna do what you're gonna do anyway?
1. Honest
2. Brutally Honest
3. Leave Bodies on the Floor Honest
4. I've been here 23 years and ran out of f#cks to give about a decade ago honest
I went with #1, I blush to disclose.
Responses had I chosen otherwise:
2. You guys need to loosen up about telling customers things they don't want to hear.
3. That guy in charge? Can't take a piss without taking a poll and disregarding the results.
4. Why are you still wasting my time with these surveys when you're gonna do what you're gonna do anyway?
What's polite customer care speak ...
Mar. 6th, 2015 01:23 pm...for "aren't you just a whiny little rhymes with witch?"
So you want to report a network failure
Feb. 18th, 2015 12:14 pm( Cut for length )
tldr; Even if it's true that your product or service has never worked anywhere (which is the trifecta of futility when it come to reporting what happened, where it took place and how long it's been going on in relation to establishing a network failure,) something happened that drove your call into the service center. Be as specific as you can about that if they're busy dismissing the likelihood of it being an equipment or provisiioning failure. Outrage is only good for getting credits or free products/services. Reporting trouble gets farther not with honey, but with calm, reasoned discourse.
Yeah, I've been reviewing tickets for process improvements again.
tldr; Even if it's true that your product or service has never worked anywhere (which is the trifecta of futility when it come to reporting what happened, where it took place and how long it's been going on in relation to establishing a network failure,) something happened that drove your call into the service center. Be as specific as you can about that if they're busy dismissing the likelihood of it being an equipment or provisiioning failure. Outrage is only good for getting credits or free products/services. Reporting trouble gets farther not with honey, but with calm, reasoned discourse.
Yeah, I've been reviewing tickets for process improvements again.
Do not bite the head off a lady of a certain age, for we are bitter, vindictive and have lots more practice with where the return knife goes.
Young man bit the head off a co-worker about who enters projects and their updates into the site (okay, first? We've worked for this woman how long and are just now hearing about this? Forgive us if we don't know how it works) and darn her for remembering he volunteered for the job at the last staff meeting.
Same boy who, when I shared one of my ideas for reducing ticket volume, jumped right in to explain how something like that had been tried and failed. So there's a slight chance I was pre-mad at him when he started nipping at my co-worker, in the interests of full disclosure.
Young man bit the head off a co-worker about who enters projects and their updates into the site (okay, first? We've worked for this woman how long and are just now hearing about this? Forgive us if we don't know how it works) and darn her for remembering he volunteered for the job at the last staff meeting.
Same boy who, when I shared one of my ideas for reducing ticket volume, jumped right in to explain how something like that had been tried and failed. So there's a slight chance I was pre-mad at him when he started nipping at my co-worker, in the interests of full disclosure.
Boss sez to bring new and different ideas to next Tuesday's staff meeting for reducing ticket volume to our work group.
Fact: We get the statistical equivalent of 100% of our tickets from the customer facing organization.
Fact: Our boss came to us from the customer facing organization and won't hear a word against them for reasons that vary by mood from "you just hate and abuse them all unreasonably with your petty foolish demands, shut up;" and "okay, you might occasionally be right but customer care can't do anything about it because _____, so we'll have to clean our own house first."
So, if we want to reduce volume we don't generate, it will have to be from our side of the fence.
(brain splodey)
Fact: We get the statistical equivalent of 100% of our tickets from the customer facing organization.
Fact: Our boss came to us from the customer facing organization and won't hear a word against them for reasons that vary by mood from "you just hate and abuse them all unreasonably with your petty foolish demands, shut up;" and "okay, you might occasionally be right but customer care can't do anything about it because _____, so we'll have to clean our own house first."
So, if we want to reduce volume we don't generate, it will have to be from our side of the fence.
(brain splodey)
All I am saying
Jan. 21st, 2015 12:48 pmIs that when a company buys another company with the intent of merging their operations, everyone should know before the switch is flipped where those operations overlap and where there are holes and what (if anything) is going to be done about that or someone should be fired because, seriously? Expecting one's customers to find the gaps for you?
Just, wow.
Just, wow.
[looks shifty]
Dec. 31st, 2014 12:04 pmSo, due to anticipated Extremely Bad Traffic because who Who WHO would ever miss the Big Peach drop? WHO? We got sent home at noonish. If anyone asks, I took that to mean we had to be home by noon to take them up on it.
Yeah. I'm working really really hard here. I reset my VPN PIN and everything. At some point, I may open up the notes screen on a ticket and just let Rodney waltz across the keyboard because that makes about as much sense as what the least-seniority people made to work on New Year's Even already put in there.
I would never investigate home remedies for feline earmites on company time or company assets. NEVER.
Yeah. I'm working really really hard here. I reset my VPN PIN and everything. At some point, I may open up the notes screen on a ticket and just let Rodney waltz across the keyboard because that makes about as much sense as what the least-seniority people made to work on New Year's Even already put in there.
I would never investigate home remedies for feline earmites on company time or company assets. NEVER.
