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justalurkrNo one has informed my (step)sister of this.
I have just returned from two weeks in California visiting the parental units over the Fourth of July and celebrating my (step)father's 93rd birthday. (Step)sister and daughter were there to help out. Things were going swimmingly and this post was shaping up to be "what a marvelous blended family we make!" when my mother told me that my father told her that sister told him she thought it would be a good idea for sister to be the sole executor of the estate so she could "take care of" my mother because we wouldn't want to leave anything complicated and financial in justalurkr's hands, now would we?
Quick family history:
Mom is my mother of origin, who birthed and raised me.
Dad is my father of origin, who split for international parts unknown with his second wife and mother of three more children when I was, like, six.
(Step)father or F is my mother's second husband and my legally adoptive father whose name I now carry and the estranged birth father (estranged until the child support stopped, anyway) of (step)sister who I guess is legally my half-sister, making her daughter my half- or step-niece, except her father has children by a previous marriage making them my half-step-nephews and nieces?
"That crazy rhymes with witch" is F's ex-wife and (step)sister's birth mother and woman who raised her to seek out and claim everything that rhymes with dastard deprived them of by...(insert woman scorned rant here.)
Since I'm pretty sure (step)sister wouldn't spit on Mom were Mom on fire, I have to assume that (step)sister fundamentally misunderstands (a) what it is an executor does; (b) the exact nature of the estate trust in question and why both of us have executor roles; or (c) the likelihood anything will be left of said estate when Mom passes, given how long-lived the women in our line of descent tend to be.
The estate as I understand it contains a joint will that directs the reader to the trust, which in turn leaves everything to the surviving spouse and splits what's left evenly between we two daughters upon the surviving spouse's death. The best case of (step)sister) trying to become the executor in my stead is that she's worried I'll screw something up and lose all the dough. Worst case is that she thinks I'll convince Mom to give me all of the dough or she may think the executor gets to control the surviving spouse's spending. It appears that Mom has no more use for (step)sister than vice versa, as she already plans to sell the current house and buy one near me in Atlanta and put it in trust for me as would be her prerogative, give that the estate trust explicitly grants everything to the surviving spouse. Unless Mom signed something forbidding her to give stuff away before she passes, she can do what she likes with the proceeds.
I've always assumed there would be nothing left and I or the State would be supporting Mom in her extreme old age, depending on which of us had more money. The real punchline to this whole thing is that (step)sister's daughter is pretty much my sole heir, so whatever's left of the parents' and my estate eventually goes to (step)sister's side of the family anyway, given that the only one of my half siblings by blood who has children has gone on record as not wanting anything to do with our father's first family (or, Mom and I.) The son is already gone and the younger sister is gay and not looking to reproduce (as of now.)
In other news, the niece ran four pounds off my broad rear view and I am now a geocacher. Not that I've found anything yet, but STILL. I'm a geocacher.
I have just returned from two weeks in California visiting the parental units over the Fourth of July and celebrating my (step)father's 93rd birthday. (Step)sister and daughter were there to help out. Things were going swimmingly and this post was shaping up to be "what a marvelous blended family we make!" when my mother told me that my father told her that sister told him she thought it would be a good idea for sister to be the sole executor of the estate so she could "take care of" my mother because we wouldn't want to leave anything complicated and financial in justalurkr's hands, now would we?
Quick family history:
Mom is my mother of origin, who birthed and raised me.
Dad is my father of origin, who split for international parts unknown with his second wife and mother of three more children when I was, like, six.
(Step)father or F is my mother's second husband and my legally adoptive father whose name I now carry and the estranged birth father (estranged until the child support stopped, anyway) of (step)sister who I guess is legally my half-sister, making her daughter my half- or step-niece, except her father has children by a previous marriage making them my half-step-nephews and nieces?
"That crazy rhymes with witch" is F's ex-wife and (step)sister's birth mother and woman who raised her to seek out and claim everything that rhymes with dastard deprived them of by...(insert woman scorned rant here.)
Since I'm pretty sure (step)sister wouldn't spit on Mom were Mom on fire, I have to assume that (step)sister fundamentally misunderstands (a) what it is an executor does; (b) the exact nature of the estate trust in question and why both of us have executor roles; or (c) the likelihood anything will be left of said estate when Mom passes, given how long-lived the women in our line of descent tend to be.
The estate as I understand it contains a joint will that directs the reader to the trust, which in turn leaves everything to the surviving spouse and splits what's left evenly between we two daughters upon the surviving spouse's death. The best case of (step)sister) trying to become the executor in my stead is that she's worried I'll screw something up and lose all the dough. Worst case is that she thinks I'll convince Mom to give me all of the dough or she may think the executor gets to control the surviving spouse's spending. It appears that Mom has no more use for (step)sister than vice versa, as she already plans to sell the current house and buy one near me in Atlanta and put it in trust for me as would be her prerogative, give that the estate trust explicitly grants everything to the surviving spouse. Unless Mom signed something forbidding her to give stuff away before she passes, she can do what she likes with the proceeds.
I've always assumed there would be nothing left and I or the State would be supporting Mom in her extreme old age, depending on which of us had more money. The real punchline to this whole thing is that (step)sister's daughter is pretty much my sole heir, so whatever's left of the parents' and my estate eventually goes to (step)sister's side of the family anyway, given that the only one of my half siblings by blood who has children has gone on record as not wanting anything to do with our father's first family (or, Mom and I.) The son is already gone and the younger sister is gay and not looking to reproduce (as of now.)
In other news, the niece ran four pounds off my broad rear view and I am now a geocacher. Not that I've found anything yet, but STILL. I'm a geocacher.
