The Way to a Man's House is Through His Stomach

[justalurkr]

Or whatever the real title of last night's House prelude to a kiss and of course a really hot sex act against the fridge episode was. Lots of fangirling with a decidedly slashy bias going on...



Oh, let's just get it out of the way, shall we?

OMGWTFBBQSLASHBAITONASTICK!!!1!!

He totally deleted that message, hedidHeDidHEDID!

[talk amongst yourselves for a mo while I boing around the room, chittering incoherently and going "Wilson said violators, heh heh heh"]

:coff: Ahem. Well.

OK, there was one jar-me-out-of-the-slasher-heaven moment: While I'm glad Dr. Cameron doesn't welsh on her bets, what in the nine circles of hell was up with the softcore porn presentation of the dough?

Not that I didn't appreciate the high-grade crack of House's burn in the same scene: "He's looking more attractive all the time, isn't he?"

Bitch is so barking up the wrong tree.

But back to the real story: does anyone else think House asked Wilson to leave the morning after because nothing happened? That Our Jimmy missed several broad hints that napping on the couch wasn't necessary, and his subsequent failure to get with the program broke Greg's heart because Greg thought maybe Jimmy didn't like him that way? And Jimmy, who didn't want to be forward on the first date, decided to feed Greg a really lot to convince him they were meant to be making with the hot sex acts against the fridge together, and there was this explosive OMGYOULIKEME,YOUREALLYLIKE ME sex when Wilson finally realized why he didn't have a chance to make a better offer on some other apartment?

Aside for juggling: House was JUGGLING. [boggleSLURP] Was that meant to be a metaphor, not that I really care, or just skilled prestidigitacious eyecandy? And is Chase, who was clearly about a split nano-second from applauding, not the most adorable asskisser in creation?

Aside for Cuddy: She knew exactly whom to summon forth to answer for the Herpes Harpy. "No WAY are you dumping this in my lap." And, can she wrangle her House-boy or what?

Aside for Foreman's bottomless pools of nigh-pornographic uh, eyes: While I am a perv for pellucid (and didn't House's eyes get the luxury lighting treatment more than once?) Omar Epps's velvety pools of chocolate-y I-know-you're-scared-but-trust-me-I'm-a-doctor eyes give me shivers on a regular basis.

Also, Our Foreman got all shirty with House! It was lupus, damn it, and he was going to start treatment. Had he not been mistaken, I'd have said one of the duckling was ready to leave the nest, go forth and terrorize in his own diagnostic practice. Or maybe his heart was broken, seeing that Wilson had won and all that. (Yes, I cherish a secret longing for House/Foreman. DON'T JUDGE ME!)

But back to the real story: Speaking of eyes, I want to marry Wilson's puppy dog gaze and have its children, except of course its heart already belongs to House. In what alternate universe would House ever agree to a stranger coming into his lair and touching his stuff? And, is the timing such that the maid pretty much had to have been there, getting started, about the same time Wilson was "asking" if he could keep her on?

Aside: Also, closed-captioning rendered her name as "Lady," and I wasn't paying close enough attention to what her name really was, and I think I'm going to like "Lady" a whole lot, because if House in full battle frenzy doesn't freak you out, you're made of stern stuff indeed, and you get to be referred to by me by your name rather that as "the maid."

Anyone catch what "Lady"'s real name was?

Anyone wanna make book on how long it's going to take for "Lady" POV pieces on House/Wilson making with the hot sex acts against various firm surfaces in the place is gonna take?

Does anyone else think Wilson lied through his pretty, perfect teeth about Julie firing the maid, and just wanted to have an excuse to bring order out of chaos in his new home without going excessively dramatic and possibly tragically sex-free rounds with House's isolationist neuroses?

In other words, does anyone for a single second believe Wilson was moving out Monday, irrespective of what messages got deleted?

Nah, I didn't think so. Our Jimmy is diligent in his persistence. :D

Comments

[wraith816.livejournal.com]

*is still squeeing*

[justalurkr.livejournal.com]

My only regret is that they made us wait three weeks for that!

[nialla]

OK, there was one jar-me-out-of-the-slasher-heaven moment: While I'm glad Dr. Cameron doesn't welsh on her bets, what in the nine circles of hell was up with the softcore porn presentation of the dough?

That was definitely a WTF moment. I'm sure every woman carries bills in the waistband of their pants instead of in the pocket.

Anyone catch what "Lady"'s real name was?

It's actually Lady, or at least that's what it sounds like phonetically. I do know there's a German surname "Lehde" that's pronounced the same way. I hope she's a recurring character, because like Wilson, House doesn't intimidate her one bit.

I love that the song playing during the end scene has the line "love'll make you do wrong" right as House is looking at Wilson and then "love and happiness" as he hits the delete button.

TPTB like us. I'm not quite sure how to react to that. ;)

[ducks-in-a-row.livejournal.com]

I'm sure every woman carries bills in the waistband of their pants instead of in the pocket

Having just rewatched the tape, I'm not sure she even has pockets in those skin tight pants. Just an observation. Still doesn't excuse the pole-dancer act.

[justalurkr.livejournal.com]

And not breaking the line of skin tight pants is what God made purses for, anyway. Maybe Cameron was afraid House would wrestle it away and beat her with it? So she tucked the dough in her g-string?

[nialla]

I rewatched it too, and I'm pretty sure I saw the edge of her pocket. Silly writers, trying to make Cameron seem all sexy with this and her open attitude about a menage a trois. We all know she's an Ice Queen.

[justalurkr.livejournal.com]

I'm now convinced the writers woke up from their slash-induced ecstatic coma and realized the suits upstairs were going to be calling any minute to tell them they've taken the gay "joke" too far, so they slapped in the obligatory "attractive women want to sex him up" scene, as if what attractive women want has a thing to do with a man's sexuality, but it's the suits we're talking about here, and then they wrote the tag to the tag scene and lapsed back into unconsciousness.

[nialla]

I swear there's a scale in the writer's room -- one side for slash, one for ship -- they sorta try to keep them balanced. But I must say it's nice to get some quality slashy moments that I barely need my goggles on to see.

[ducks-in-a-row.livejournal.com]

Well, damn. Then she really doesn't have any excuse for the sex kitten act.

Except that I realized this ep was written by one of the House writers who's worst for taking the characters OOC. He wrote "Heavy", too. I suppose that explains Cameron's behavior, but I hate it when the explanation is just plain bad writing.

[justalurkr.livejournal.com]

Clearly, we've spent too long in fandoms where we're the redheaded stepchildren, and damned pervy ones, at that. ;)

[ducks-in-a-row.livejournal.com]

In other words, does anyone for a single second believe Wilson was moving out Monday, irrespective of what messages got deleted?

I don't think Wilson wanted to leave, which is why the overkill with food and maid service. He was trying to give House a reason to keep him around. Silly boy--all he had to do was strip naked ;-)

[justalurkr.livejournal.com]

He just didn't want to be too forward, I guess. Subtlety of that nature is, of course, quite lost on House.