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justalurkrMy needs as a wireless communications troubleshooter are few.
Since (start date of issue,) subscriber on (mobile number) has been experiencing (for the love of God, something to do with crappy wireless service and not his/her bottomless hatred of all things All Your Phones Are Belong To Us) within (blocks is ideal, no more than a mile) of (a specific address. No, really; if it's an entire metro area that's bugging them, you go drive it) on a (make/model of phone; NO "cell phone with a little red icon on it" is NOT sufficient) running OS version (if it's less than the latest on that fruity little phone we sell, I can't even talk to you) with a current (technobabble.)
Is that too much to ask? (Yeah, apparently.)
Now I'm trying to figure out how I became the customer-hating slacker who won't work a ticket just because the problem description begins and ends with "CMORC" and lists the billing address. My obstructionist attitude is not serving the customer, you see.
"Help me understand," I say, which is code for 'listen, you self-serving, puff-headed, pig-ignorant, glad-handing, ass-kissing, rhymes-with-witch who hasn't worked an actual customer call in what? Twelve years? and never, ever in your faux-blonde life worked a technical trouble through to resolution,' "how customer care can pitch anything over the wall up to and including 'CMORC' at the billing address, and I'm the one not serving the best interests of the customer because I reject it back to the person who actually had the sub(scriber) on the phone available for milking of information because there's insufficient information in the ticket?"
"We go through a lot to let you know there's trouble on the network," Faux-Blondie replies.
"CMORC at baddr," I said.
"That's can't make or receive calls at the billing address," Faux-Blondie adds helpfully.
"I know what it means. What I'm trying to get across is the absence of all other information."
(Audible disdainful sniff. On a conference bridge. With witnesses who are not me. I wonder what it would take to get a foot stomp.) "Look, it doesn't help the customer when you just return everything for insufficient information."
And we're back to square one of me not understanding how what the customer facing org is doing that helps the subscriber when what amounts to a piece of paper with a phone number and "I think their problem might be the network; you figure it out" is all we get.
Five minutes and a handful of henna is all I ask.
Since (start date of issue,) subscriber on (mobile number) has been experiencing (for the love of God, something to do with crappy wireless service and not his/her bottomless hatred of all things All Your Phones Are Belong To Us) within (blocks is ideal, no more than a mile) of (a specific address. No, really; if it's an entire metro area that's bugging them, you go drive it) on a (make/model of phone; NO "cell phone with a little red icon on it" is NOT sufficient) running OS version (if it's less than the latest on that fruity little phone we sell, I can't even talk to you) with a current (technobabble.)
Is that too much to ask? (Yeah, apparently.)
Now I'm trying to figure out how I became the customer-hating slacker who won't work a ticket just because the problem description begins and ends with "CMORC" and lists the billing address. My obstructionist attitude is not serving the customer, you see.
"Help me understand," I say, which is code for 'listen, you self-serving, puff-headed, pig-ignorant, glad-handing, ass-kissing, rhymes-with-witch who hasn't worked an actual customer call in what? Twelve years? and never, ever in your faux-blonde life worked a technical trouble through to resolution,' "how customer care can pitch anything over the wall up to and including 'CMORC' at the billing address, and I'm the one not serving the best interests of the customer because I reject it back to the person who actually had the sub(scriber) on the phone available for milking of information because there's insufficient information in the ticket?"
"We go through a lot to let you know there's trouble on the network," Faux-Blondie replies.
"CMORC at baddr," I said.
"That's can't make or receive calls at the billing address," Faux-Blondie adds helpfully.
"I know what it means. What I'm trying to get across is the absence of all other information."
(Audible disdainful sniff. On a conference bridge. With witnesses who are not me. I wonder what it would take to get a foot stomp.) "Look, it doesn't help the customer when you just return everything for insufficient information."
And we're back to square one of me not understanding how what the customer facing org is doing that helps the subscriber when what amounts to a piece of paper with a phone number and "I think their problem might be the network; you figure it out" is all we get.
Five minutes and a handful of henna is all I ask.
