justalurkr: (Default)
It's a long post )

Okay i thought that would paste the whole post, but behind the cut is a link to a look at slash fiction history on Tumblr. Fascinating, too!
justalurkr: (Default)
Some sweet thing on tumblr asked about the difference between the "mature" and "explicit" ratings on the AO3 fanfiction archive. Some kind soul answered:

tinsnip answered:

Mature is ‘and then they made love.’ Explicit is ‘and here’s how they did it exactly.’

To wit: mature.

He looked at the envelope, spread out before him.

God, he’d never been this hungry.

Could he be gentle enough? Slow enough? He didn’t want to damage it, didn’t want to do anything he’d regret… but no, no, it seemed the envelope wanted this as much as he did. It slipped into his hands, it folded as he asked. When it was time for more, the card was waiting, and he somehow knew exactly what to do. He moved with his correspondence in a dance as old as the mail system, and when it was over, he was smiling and the envelope was completely, thoroughly sealed.

Explicit:

The envelope waved its flap in the air slowly, gently, and he could see the faint shimmer of the adhesive traced along its fold. It was like a taunt, a dare: won’t you? And he would, oh, God, he would, lifting the envelope firmly to his lips, licking slowly at first, then faster, more firmly, tasting the envelope’s essence, the faint bitterness, the sweetness to follow–

Oh, he couldn’t help but smile at how it felt in his hands. It was so perfectly folded. Its paper was rough against his fingers, and its crossed folds shifted slightly as it opened for his eager tongue. Yes, yes…

Now the card, and his hand trembled as he lifted it, as he held the envelope, stretching it wide. Would it fit? Oh… oh, yes, it would fit, it slid in smooth and quick and filled the envelope to bursting, oh, made for each other, and he smiled in delight at how perfect it was.

He was ready. Now, now, now: with one swift movement he folded the flap over and he pressed, yes, he pressed the flap down and it stuck, God, it stuck perfectly, and he closed his eyes in bliss.

Afterwards, he stroked the envelope, and thought about addresses.

===

I have never regretted online bill pay more.
justalurkr: (Default)
Can you lick the science?
An abbreviated list.

Genetics: Do not. Unless cheek swabs?

Chemistry: NO!!!!! DO NOT!!!!!!

Archaeology: Perhaps. But might be human bone.

Geology: Sometimes needed, sometimes dangerous

Psychology: Best not.

Physics: ????????? How??????

Zoology: In zoology, science licks you.

Anthropology: Maybe ask first.

Herpetology: bad plan bad plan BAD PLAN

Sociology: Yes, if you have time and dedication and a willingness to piss a lot of people off.

Botany: You might hallucinate or die, OR it might be delicious

Computer Science: the tingle of electricity on your tongue is how you know it’s working

Epidemiology: FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD PLEASE DO NOT

Linguistics: Despite the name, please probably don’t.

Engineering: Maybe, but it’ll probably taste like spreadsheets

Software engineering: nothing else has made the code work so you might as well try it

Biomedicine: Go ahead, but it’s probably at best urine and at worst a strain of infectious bacteria that has no cure yet.

Astronomy: I’m not gonna stop you from trying, it may just take a lot of time and a lot of money
justalurkr: (Default)
in george soper’s 1907 account of tracing a small but perplexing typhoid outbreak back to one person, a cook named mary mallon (later dubbed “typhoid mary” by the press), he pauses to note that she was blond, blue-eyed and “had a good figure, and might have been called athletic had she not been a little too heavy”

christ, dude

is there literally nothing a woman can do where she won’t be reduced to her appearance

you’d think we could at the very least be a vector for deadly diseases without some dude turning it into a public referendum of how bangable we are

“her story is a fascinating look at a key moment in the history of medical science, as well as the intersection of classism, sexism, and xenophobia in turn-of-the-century american society. also she was like, a 6.”

(idiopathicsmile)
justalurkr: (Default)
Some things your local librarian would like you to know:


It is not a stupid question. Even if it is a stupid question, we have been thoroughly trained to answer your question without judgement or second-guessing. Besides, we’re mostly just glad you’re not asking us about the noise the printer is making again.

There are probably (at least) two desks in the library. One is where you check out books and is mostly staffed by people wearing nametags that say “Circulation Clerk.” These people can answer your questions about damaged or missing books, fines, and how many forms of identification we’ll need if you want to get a library card but your mailing address is in Taiwan. The other one is closer to the books and computers and is mostly staffed by people wearing nametags that say “Librarian.” These people can answer your questions about spider extermination, how to rent property to the United States Postal Service, and the number of tropical island nations in which you could theoretically establish the first United States Embassy. We would love to answer these questions for you. It would be a nice change from the printer.

We probably own a 3D printer by now. 3D printers, are cool, right? Please, please come use our 3D printer, it’s so lonely.

We spent a lot of money to hire this woodworker to come and teach a class at the library which you can attend for free. You will probably be the only person between the ages of ten and fifty in attendance, but your presence will fill the librarian with an unnameable joy. They will float back to their manager in a daze. “A young person came to my program,” they will say. You will have made their entire job worthwhile.

Every time you ask us for a book, movie, or music recommendation, a baby librarian gets their first cardigan.

Somewhere in the library, there is a form. If you fill out this form with your name and library card number and the details of the thing you are looking for, we will find you the thing. Sometimes the answer is “the thing is in Great Britain and they will not send it to us,” but more often the thing will just appear on hold for you, and one day you will pick up a copy of that out-of-print book you never thought you would read and maybe you will say, “Wow, the library is amazing,” and the librarian’s heart will glow.

Please bring back book #2. The rest of its series misses it very much.

Five dollars is not a large library fine. Believe me, before I started working in libraries, I too wondered how someone could sleep at night, knowing they owed money to the library. When we laugh as you sheepishly apologize for your $2.50 in overdue fees, we are not mocking you, we are thinking of the ten people we sent to debt collection already today.

We really don’t care why you’re checking out Fifty Shades of Grey. Maybe you have a specifically-themed ironic bachelorette party to plan. Maybe you’re working on a thesis paper about mainstream media’s depiction of female sexuality. Maybe you just got curious. We will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Whatever you’re smoking in the family restroom, please stop.

Somewhere on the library’s website, buried under “Links” or “Research” or “On-line Resources,” is a page that a librarian spent a month’s worth of work on. It contains many links to websites you thought everyone knew about, and one to a page that you could never have imagined existed that perfectly solves a problem you never expected to be resolved.

Imagine the kind of person who would think to themselves, “Library school sounds like a thing I should do.” For the most part, you are imagining the kind of person who is now a librarian. We want very much to help you, but we’re not entirely sure how to do that unless you ask. You are not bothering us. Please, come and say hi.

linkspam

Jul. 26th, 2015 10:39 am
justalurkr: (Default)
From tumblr:
Flower causes cat to malfunction
Itty bitty kitties napping
One day things will get better; until then...
My reaction when someone asks me what I'm doing with my life
Copperbadge explains the fuss over Ant Man (does not involve cats)
edited to add:
The Big Gay Hate Machine (which is not at all what it sounds like, except hysterically is)

Youtube:
Why are you so angry? (first of a six part dissection of what's up with gamergate; whole series takes just shy of an hour to watch, but it was a perspective I hadn't thought of. Also, can be applied to pretty much any situation involving the question "What is that privileged asshole's mafunction?")
Age of Ultron/Winter Soldier crack vid #1
Age of Ultron/Winter Soldier crack vid #2 (my fave of the pair)

Twitter:




Note: 1/3rd of me agrees with Scalzi about Glamour's state of inebriation; 1/3rd of me is appalled that some men at just that easy; 1/3rd of me is taking notes. (facepalm)

Recipe links:
Mushroom bourguignon (can be vegan with substitution of arrowroot for flour and gluten free with veggie noodles)
Weight Watcher's Garlic Herb Roasted Pork (though clearly vegan is not my priority at dinner)
justalurkr: (Default)
wehatefeminism:
Feminists say that if they walk around naked and get raped, it’s not their fault. Let me ask you this, if you owned a bank and left the doors wide open with no security and you got robbed in the middle of the night, is it the robbers fault or yours?

chemicallysleeping:
Literally the robber’s fault??? They walked in and took something that wasn’t theirs??? They knew pretty well that they shouldn’t steal things??? What is your argument even trying to prove???

supersmashmother:
Also can we stop equating women with inanimate possessions in an attempt to show their value and worth??? Jesus fucking christ. I’m not a bank with the doors left open. I’m not a car parked in a “bad neighborhood”. I’m not a shiny wrist watch, or a purse left unattended. I’m a fucking human being. I am not a consumable good. I’m not here for the taking. And if your miniscule brain can’t wrap around that concept, don’t confuse yourself by thinking that your opinion is in any way valuable or worth sharing.
justalurkr: (Default)
...is so tired of society's binary bull:

person: are you gay?
me: no
person: so you’re straight
me: nope
person: then what are you???
me: ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain, and a hundred percent reason to remember the name

justalurkr: (Default)
Aside from the constant stream of (your taste here) art and fanfiction, I now accept the words "math," "science" and "adult" as verbs, even though there's a 35 year old adulting better at his age than perhaps I have at any. (chagrin)
justalurkr: (Default)
Someone posted to tumblr: "In 2001, what grade were you in?"

THAT WAS MY 21st HIGH SCHOOL REUNION KTHXBAI
justalurkr: (Default)
Then I read a post about using the soundtrack of a video game to focus on studying because the music is meant to keep you engaged (or entrained, if you want to get sinister about it.)

S.O.B. Not only did it work, but the soundtrack to Skyrim is actually kind of pretty.
justalurkr: (Default)

  • my requirements for sleeping at night:is the pillow cool enough? are my legs positioned so they don't put too much weight on each other? are my arms tucked in nicely and not at odd angles? can I stop thinking about the day's events? is enough of my body out from under the blanket that I won't overheat? are my toes safely tucked in to hide them from monsters?

  • my requirements for sleeping in the morning:is the surface vaguely horizontal and not made entirely out of hornets

I collapse giggling over the implication that some hornets are okay, just not all of the hornets.
justalurkr: (Default)

  • Feminists:Hey. We'd like for women to be treated as equals.

  • Society:Oh sure. You want "equality" but then you expect men to open the door and pay for meals, is that it? That's not equality! That's special treatment!

  • Feminists:Um, no not really. You don't have to open the door and pay for our meals. We can do that ourselves.

  • Society:*gasp* What? You don't want men to open doors for you? Why do you hate nice people? No wonder chivalry is dead! You'd yell at a man for just being polite and opening the door for you?

  • Feminists:No! We're just saying you don't have to do it just because we're women!

  • Society:And while we're at it, how come you don't protect male victims of abuse and rape, huh?

  • Feminists:Actually, we think it's really terrible that men are forced to stay quiet about their abuse because they're worried about not being taken seriously. It's this Alpha Male myth that causes it. Men are abused and raped and they're not helped because men are supposed to be tough and able to handle it. This also goes for men not being able to express emotions.

  • Society:Oh, so you just want men to be a bunch of pansies then, huh? You hate men for wanting to be strong LIKE NATURE INTENDED THEM TO BE. You'll be sorry when you end up married to some weak, simpering fool who likes to talk about his "feelings"!

  • Society:Also, you can't have equal rights because women aren't aggressive enough to want higher pay and stuff.

  • Feminists:HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON?

  • Society:Jesus, calm down. No need to be so aggressive.

I have no idea how to cite tumblr, but here's the link to the post I saw.

edited to add: this works as a fairly brief overview of the history of feminism, especially if you add "and then we started suing people" to the end.
justalurkr: (Default)
Seen on tumblr:
conversation at work

  • i work at a halloween haunted house park

  • Guy who works in a haunted house:The best part about working in the haunted house is when girls go under the black-light.

  • Me:Yeah? Why's that?

  • Guy:If they're wearing a white bra, you can see it glow! Haha like why would you wear a white bra to this place?

  • Me:uh

  • Me:i dont get it

  • Guy:you can see their bras. Its funny.

  • Me:did you not know girls wear bras? Did you not know girl's have breasts?

  • Some girl walking past:What? We have... Hold on *looks down shirt* WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

  • some other boy:HOLY SHIT what the FUCK is under your SHIRT?

  • girl:I DONT KNOw? BREASTS APPARENTLY??

  • other boy:*SCREAMING*

  • girl:*SCREAMING*

  • me:*SCREAMING*

  • first boy:uh fine whatever fine i get it

justalurkr: (Default)
There's this tumblr post about how humans are SO NOT the default everyman species, which then goes into considerable detail about what might make us horrifying to alien species. I reblogged and added:

"I have this head canon where we freak out the aliens who eat rocks because they think a civilized species eats rocks OR organics, and we put salt on everything. Then, we freak out the species that eat organics because carnivore OR herbivore and…omnivore is just NOT NATURAL. Plus, rock on our food. (shudder) Also, we’re completely irrational about what we’ll go to war over. Land, water, minerals…and the vegetarians are just SITTING there, letting the omnivores run amok. WTF, humans? (Humans are all looking at each other, rock/paper/scissoring over who gets to explain politics, religion and money.)"
justalurkr: (Default)
"If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a one week trip."
justalurkr: (Default)
Cross stitched sampler:
"Sometimes spite is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning."

From a bathroom wall:
"Don't give up. You still have a couple of motherf#ckers to prove wrong."

I'm placing these in the anti-depressant category. :D

edited after looking up the actual quotes

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