justalurkr: (Default)
So, a few weeks ago, I posted about my frustration with intrusive images. justalurkr.dreamwidth.org/384576.html

T
he answer is: ask a licensed professional counselor! 

1. Visualize a large stop sign over the image.
2. When you see the image, notice which direction you're looking & look somewhere else in your field of vision. (May also be helpful for intrusive thoughts.)
3. Quit looking at grotesque shit on the internet. (Ok maybe not said in so many words, but heavily implied. :D )
justalurkr: (Default)
Okay, it just me or Cut for the three interested people who haven't yet seen the movie )

Or is that just skillful crackvid editing? Too many examples to cite here, just head on over tou YouTube and search "civil war crackvid" when you've got an hour or so to hose away.
justalurkr: (Default)
First cyber encounter:
Suggestion from internet: get some survival training! how to escape terrorists, etc.!
Me: (looks up SERE training for civilians)
All SERE training sites: THE MOST HARD CORE CIVILIAN COURSE EVAR
Me: How about some nice, lightweight training? Cane accessible preferred?

Second cyber encounter:
Site: best coffee makers for SHTF!
Me: where, exactly, were you planning to get coffee once the grid goes down?

This morning, at PT:
Me: (something something) preparedness.
PT: (grins) you're a prepper?
Me: Well, mostly.
PT: You have a bug out bag?
Me: Spread over the sofa, in the spare room and under the bed, yeah.
PT: (laughs and laughs and laughs) So, a last minute prepper?
Me: I was going to say half-assed, but I like your way better.
PT: You know, all you really need is ammunition.
Me: (frowny face, preparing to explain aversion to firearms)
PT: Just the ammo. You can trade it for anything.
Me: (freezes)
Me: (a whole new world opens up)
PT: You've got 18 reps left, buttercup.
justalurkr: (Default)
When I was very small and my original parents were still married, my father looked upon the destruction I had wrought after one afternoon's play and declared, "that child could break a steel ball."

Not much has changed over the years, come to think of it.

So I'm not sure what my mother was thinking last week when she sent me a link to salads in mason jars and strongly suggested I try it. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I made up six of them and brought one today.

The jar took four confirmed and a possible fifth hit through an unpadded plastic bag between my fridge and the one here at work. IT LIVES.

Gentlefolk, we may have proof God exists, if only to protect innocent glassware from demons of destruction.
justalurkr: (Default)
It's way too hot for long pants in Georgia right now, so I shall shortly sally forth in bermudas that do not cover my surgical scar, a totally unsubtle streak of pink down the inside of my right leg at the knee.

Will people pity me? Recoil in horror?

My favorite explanation remains "while unicycling across the Grand Canyon, my violin bow slipped and wackiness ensued," which sounds much better than "I stepped onto the grass and gravity said 'you're mine now, bitch.'"
justalurkr: (Default)
My Favorite GenX Male Feminist: (his take on Goldilocks is f#ck the Patriarchy)
Me: Well, I always thought Mama Bear's sacrificial nature was BullShevik, as mom would say, but what about this? How hot does porridge have to be to still be too hot after the bears have left and Goldilocks has wandered in and tested the chairs already?

File under "deep conversations at Fortune 500 companies."
justalurkr: (Default)
Breaking a laptop over a third level manager's head remains outside what is permissible under the Code of Business Conduct vis a vis "violence in the workplace."

Maybe next time I won't check, as ignorance MIGHT be an excuse in this case.
justalurkr: (Default)
Based on the recent addition of "North African .1%" to my genetic profile by 23andme.com....

I AM A BARBARY PIRATE.

ARRRRRRR x.1%, yo.
justalurkr: (Default)
1: Does "spectrum carve" actually mean "remove all radios?"
2: If I put the same amount of effort into investigating this ticket that you did, I'd be in hibernation.
3: Just give it to me straight. The site is on its side with its paws waving in the air and you just don't want to tell us?
4. Customer is sitting there with a functioning phone. You add a billing feature. The customer is now holding a brick. What is it you think my network did?
justalurkr: (Default)
Some terrorist organization is going to be pissed that they spent all that time radicalizing and supplying Syed Rizwan Farook and then he used it all to get even at an office party.
justalurkr: (justalurkr)
Apparently, someone out there is collecting volunteers for a one-way ticket to Mars to colonize or something. This spurred a spirited discussion once with my dad and more recently with my coworkers.

I am now the least popular daughter (already trailing because the stepsister is ahead by one grandchild to zip) because I told the two people who put the first science fiction story in my hands as a child that I would go in a heartbeat. (cue slightly horrified, betrayed looks.) Shoulda kept the Foundation Trilogy to yourselves, huh?

Coworkers looked at me funny.
African: You are not like other Americans. I see they don't like to travel.
African American: I have too much family.
Me: You wouldn't want to leave them?
AA: They wouldn't let me go.

Upon reflection, I've realized that the first one-way rush to Mars is for, like, twenty year olds who are still immortal, invulnerable and omniscient. As a lady of a certain age, I demand cushions on the couch, cable and wi-fi in addition to hot showers, flush toilets and all the Charmin I can squeeze.

How about you all? Would you go first rush? Wait for a later wave? Wave to everyone else leaving from the spaceport on Earth?
justalurkr: (Default)
So, ebola has broken out in Dallas, TX. I'm actually a little surprised, since the first victims were shipped to my stomping grounds of Marietta, GA, to continue on to the Atlanta Center for Disease Control or some hospital adjunct thereto.

My efforts to spread panic have so far resulted in virtual pats to the head online ("one patient does not an outbreak make") and some very sceptical expressions amongst my office mates, who mainly make tasteless remarks about the differences between American and West African society with respect to the general level of information available to each about the virus.

Ah, well. I suppose it's pretty tasteless to attempt spreading panic for fun anyway. (hangs head)
justalurkr: (Default)
It's routine, just time consuming, nothing to worry about.

In the meantime, the cats (whose bowl is full,) have been making it very clear that I have no idea how hard it is on them when I'm not here.  One of them is in my lap all the time while the other sulks on the carpet, plotting a Return of the Lap. (I'm still waiting to see who gets cast as Aragorn, and who has to Mount Doom the ring.)

Veronica thinks she's Galadriel, but she's really Gimli. Rodney makes no bones about being Pippin, and I have the knocked off end table contents to prove it. At least no Orcs showed up.
justalurkr: (Default)
If Foursquare's Swarm app insists on checking me in at a movie theater 30 miles away from my actual location in Midtown Atlanta at work, doesn't that strike you as a sign that I should...at a movie theater 30 miles away from work? (hopeful eyes)

Girly stuff

Feb. 6th, 2014 09:44 am
justalurkr: (Default)
I obsessed all afternoon yesterday about the release of OPI's 2014 Spring/Summer Brazil collection, and finally told a male coworker that if I ever show up to work in a skirt and heels, he should just start shooting because I'm gone beyond all hope.

Upon seeing the collection in person, I purchased the mini set to experiment. It all looked like tropical sorbet online, but looked suspiciously like some other colors I already have in my now-extensive stash.

Which brings me to a weird question about seeing color: do any of you guys ever see colors differently than others? The teal in this collection looked like a bluer green than I see on my nails, and coworkers are definitely seeing it as bluer than I do. I remember fussing with a college roommate over whether she was wearing a blue or green skirt and accused the tie-breaker roomie of wearing blue tinted contact lenses, so how would she know?

So now I have the notion stuck in my head that because I have hazel green eyes, the world looks slightly greener to me. (facepalm)
justalurkr: (Default)
That I now take nail polish seriously enough that finding a dark blue that doesn't look black delights me, and the fact that it's likely a limited edition makes me a little sad.

OMG GIRLY SHIT

ETA: The polish in question is OPI's Keeping Suzi at Bay, a beautiful, TARDIS-toned creme that may become a favorite. See swatches of the entire collection here.
justalurkr: (Default)
That I am suddenly possessed of an urge to buy some land well outside the metro Atlanta area, build an Earthship and raise the appropriate animals on a farm I'm planning to call Totes M'Goats?
justalurkr: (Default)
I learned this in someone else's LJ and deemed it to be total wish fulfillment and wanted to apply it immediately to some of the words that have come out of my mouth.

Weirdly, one of the things I have regretted saying most was when, as a callow college freshman International Relations major, I corrected a member of the CIA on the correct pronunciation of Mao's wife's name because the new Pinyin spelling was a mystery to me. I'm fairly sure he forgot about it before dessert (father of a college friend, he took our little Gang of Four out to dinner while visiting said friend,) but it stuck in that memory slot that pops out to whack me over the head periodically with what a truly empty-headed know-it-all I could be. Waaay back then, of course. I hardly ever offer unsolicited verbal edits these days. O:)

Make me feel better, flist! What have you said that you'd like to Delete Forever?

Read more...about the depressing reason something that off the wall has stuck with me )
justalurkr: (Default)
Is preemptive schadenfreude inappropriate when it looks as though one's bitch of a project manager is about to have her day of reckoning?

I guess it's counting chickens before they hatch, but I still hope it's a nestful of basilisks and every one of them noshes on her.

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